28.10.04
the alphabet, and what, precisely, it means to me.

a is for abandonment,
b is for betrayal.
c.
c is for...
cassandra.
today.
im thinking,
thinking all too much.
she wont get out of my head.
instead
i see the same thing
over
and over
and over
again.
the look on her face...
the thoughts in my head...
too much.
if i am doomed
to live the rest of my life
in this still-frame,
this single,
particular,
painful scene,
just shoot me.
d is for depression,
e is for eternity,
f.
f is for...
fuck this.
i dont want to see it again.
i dont want to see her again.
but i have to.
g is for god help me,
h is for those lost hellos,
i.
i is for...
i love her,
i hate her.
she wont remember me,
but i remember her.
who can choose what they dream?
for dream,
i do.
it haunts me.
no food,
no drink,
no dreamless sleep
could ever make me forget.
j is for jo[jumping]outthewindow,
k is for just kill me,
l.
l is for...
love.
she wont even look at me.
she cant forgive me
for something i didnt even do.
a crime i didnt commit.
a cry for help.
m is for make her see me,
n is for never again,
o.
o is for...
ohmyfuckinggod.youhavetobekiddingme.
goddammit.
leave me, please.
im so confused.
she abondoned me
and left me with
a chemical imbalance
and a broken heart.
p is for 'please...',
q is for your voice,
your quotes engraved on my soul,
r.
r is for...
revenge.
no. really?
rage?
ravaged?
redemption?
not too sure of that one.
s is for silence.
t is for time doesnt heal all things.
u.
u is for...
ubiquitous.
ever-present.
everywhere.
why wont you leave me alone?
v is for voice, the ones inside me,
fighting for control.
and the one ive been hearing
since the day i 'died'.
yours.
w is for why? why did you do it?
x.
x is for...
the mark you made on my heart
before you drove a stake into it.
hm.
im tired of this, girl.
why wont you love me back?
y is for weve already covered this one.
why did you do it?
and finally z.
z is for the sound you make
when you sleep,
so deep,
the sound i will never make
for the rest of eternity.
thank you cassie.
for everything youve done.
now take this,
and be gratified.

-jo.

bleeding inside since
22:04

0 comments:

0 struck matches.

# archivage.

10.04
11.04
12.04
01.05
02.05
03.05
04.05
05.05
06.05
07.05
08.05
09.05
10.05
11.05
12.05
01.06
02.06
03.06
04.06
07.06
11.09


# linkage.
aaron.
alltheworldtonothing.
bad poets society.
ben.
dani.
the end is near.
i dont own emotion. i rent.
jooutthewindow.
never ending story.
the nightjar.
lonely for the last time.
rosiebc6.
saccharinity.
second chances. from $26 995.
set my heart alight.
soph.
suicidiaries.

# bitch here.



# rules.
yes, sadly, there are rules. just cause im a control freak and i like our blog looking all nice. so. numero uno. no capitalization. unless it is absolutely necessary to the structure of your poem, no one wants to see it. numero dos. no apostrophes. i hate them, and theyre stupid. numero tres. no spelling errors. sorry for those of you who are slightly illiterate. but its hard to read poetry if it is fricking spelled wrong. numero quatro. sign your poems. ill take credit for them otherwise...*evil grin*. awesome. other than that, nothing else so far. you can use whatever font/size you want. any type of poem. etc. thank you.

# us.
name: jordan.
age: 15.
called: jo, dino, jooutthewindow, georgia.
contact: beckham2590@hotmail.com

awesome.

pastimes: writing, drawing, soccer, rowing, swimming, cello.
people: you know who you are.

not so much.

people: you know who you are.
things: juniper bushes, society, life. probably you, too.

music.

artist: green day, linkin park, jimmy eat world, evanescence, autopilot off, blink-182, simple plan, etc.

name: danielle.
age: 15.
called: dani, t-rex, daniel, wingy, doneal*a*thon, psycho.
contact: winged-one@comcast.net

awesome.

pastimes: soccer, wakeboarding, music.
people: not me.

not so much.

people: boys(lol, most but not all), he who must not be named.

music.

artist: korn, linkin park, staind, strata, disturbed.

name: dorota.
age: 17.
called: dorota, d, dorito, roacha...basically anything.
contact: kurczaczek91@hotmail.com

awesome.

pastimes: rowing, swimming, viola, reading, just chilling and shaking my booty.
people: everyone who is nice and not michelle tillman.

not so much.

people: michelle tillman and all those bitchy whores out there.
things: sharks, jellyfish, and seaweed.

music.

artist: anyone.

name: bailey.
age: 16.
called: bay, bail, foomelody, crack whore.
contact: sportsgirlmidfield@hotmail.com

awesome.

pastimes: soccer, poetry, rocking out, people watching.
people: anyone who doesnt piss me off right away.

not so much.

people: anyone with a bad aura.
things: not being able to breathe under the covers.

music.

artist: foofighters, queens of the stone age, nirvana, black rebel motorcycle club, and many many others.

name: sophie.
age: 15.
called: sophsta, fefe, soph, soapie, the list goes on.
contact: wicked_lemons@yahoo.com

awesome.

pastimes: writing, art.
people: david bowie.

not so much.

people: pretentious people, and idiots who think theyre smart. theyre not.
things: math and spelling.

music.

artist: placebo, david bowie, new order, joy division, and the yeah yeah yeahs.

name: ben.
age: 15.
called: ben.
contact: Nerdsworld5643@aol.com

awesome.

pastimes: violin, reading, hanging out.
people: mes amis.

not so much.

people: no idea.
things: bananas.

music.

artist: anyone.

name: aaron.
age: 14.
called: aaron, asshole, raisin, furtard(why thats been extended to me, god only knows) whatever you want.
contact: newbluechampion666@hotmail.com.

awesome.

pastimes: baseball, sleeping, procrastinating, poeming.
people: who knows.

not so much.

people: The list is at 5 pages.
things: stairs, and broken headphones.

music.

artist: (this is gonna be long) everclear, cradle of filth, marilyn manson, metallica, linkin park, AFI, dave matthews band, everlast, spearhead, yellowcard.

name: michael.
age: 15.
called: evoldous, psycho child.
contact: mbhultman@msn.com.

awesome.

pastimes: skateboarding(is it a past time?).
people: danzaver, brixius, gabby, dan-yell, you know, all those people.

not so much.

people: i dont know, that one kid that wants to kill me.
things: those scion cars, they look like boxes.

music.

artist: icp, twiztid, marcy playground, kotton mouth kings, they might be giants, nirvana, metallica, more...


# credits
picture by jo.
layout by roxy_belle.