30.6.05
sincerely.

ink on my hands
(ink on the fingers)
ink in the sink
(ink in the sink)
ink splashing on my comb
(ink on the comb)


spiders in my veins

mascara on my face

death to my face
(death to the human race)

-sophie

bleeding inside since
01:41

0 struck matches.

is that all there is?

life
has been
a grand disappointment.
i cant help but say
to every new adventure
is that all there is?

-sophie

bleeding inside since
01:36

0 struck matches.

cross your fingers not your legs

i did not fly over the cuckoos nest but right into it
something dead lay there, where youre laying
i remember how sad i used to feel
so sad
for no reason.
but happiness is boring
i only see the negative
of a person or a picture?
black
or
white
cant be both.
his own man made lovely
loved from afar
i want to be so skinny
frail, breakable
hooked up to machines
and blood in my bones because
there is no other place to put it.
shoot my head off
with a greasy gun
the blood will splatter
and make shapes on the wall
butterflies.
deathly pail is eerie
beautiful
but youre so boring
like heaven
roasted up in hell on the bar-b-que grill
barbie doll head put up in the little boys room
photos of the dolls heads in teacups
call it art
because it isnt pretty
and no one understands it except for you
so no one really cares
like no one listens to me
ever. never.
im just a ghost
dead
i dont think living is real

-sophie

bleeding inside since
01:31

1 struck matches.

announcement numero whatever the hell were on.

hey loves. news flash: we have added a new member. sophie. we are about to add another new member. michael. aka. evoldus. and...dundundun. we have...comments! haha! i win! lol. now we can post angsty little comments on each others posts! w00t. anyway. go back to writing. or doing whatever pitiful excuse you have for not writing. lol. jk. love.
-jo.

edit-
that last post is sophie signed in as me. just so you know.

bleeding inside since
01:19

0 struck matches.

teenage angst

jesus loves
god saves
but no matter what
were all going to our graves.
perpetual deja vu
and I hate chocolate

-sophie

bleeding inside since
01:07

2 struck matches.

27.6.05
truly.madly.deeply

this is cetainly not
out of a story book.
and it is nothing like
what i have always dreamed.
but somehow,
it's enough.
some days you break me down
but somehow, i make it through.
sometimes i leave your arms
feeling bruised and battered.
there are still fingerprints
scattered across my body
from where your words
{and silences}
collided with my flesh.
so this is reality
the pain mixed with the ecstacy.
this is real love,
hard love.
i would love to just say to you
'give me one good reason why i should stay'
but i've already got my reasons.
...something about your eyes
and the way you look at me
on those certain occasions.
you b r e a k my heart...
but somehow you find a way
to sew me together again,
better than before.
this is certainly not
out of a story book
or anything like
what i have always dreamed
but somehow,
we make it through.

-suffocate.within

bleeding inside since
20:34

2 struck matches.

26.6.05
rules and bones.

rules and bones
are meant to be broken.
my heart,
on the other hand,
isnt.
but so far,
its the only thing
that ive broken.
im too 'good',
im too careful,
but im not fast enough.
im not bloody fast enough.

i let my self
become attached
so easily.
s o e a s i l y .
i fall,
time and time again,
ripping my own wings out.

im just not fast enough.
im not bloody fast enough.
rules and bones
are meant to be broken.
my heart,
on the other hand,
is not.

-jo.

bleeding inside since
22:45

0 struck matches.

21.6.05

dark angel.
self-proclaimed
sinner.
mass murderer.
malignant and bitter
ugly and poisoned.
black wings
layered with crimson blood.
a dash of color for the lips.
tastes a lot like...
home.
a nostalgic past.
guilty of hate
and inner demons.
love falters to hatred
breeding dark eyes
and a frozen embrace.
faded voices and lost screams
holes engraved on the heart and soul
that now seem to take on deeper tones.
this is what happens
when you watch something beautiful die.

-suffocate.within

bleeding inside since
16:59

0 struck matches.

16.6.05
more than you could possibly imagine...

i hate you.
but i dont.
oh god...
i dont know
what to do anymore.
i fell for you.
for your innocence.
or what used to be
your innocence.
and then you crushed me.
i should hate you.
but i dont.
and then
i find out.
you are sick.
terribly,
horribly
s i c k .
and now
its biting back.
i dont know
if i should laugh.
if i should cry.
if i should scream.
if i should throw myself
at your feet
and beg
for forgiveness.
and so i do nothing.
but torture myself
over you.
who gave you this damnable power over me?
who gave you the right to crush my dreams?
who gave you the fucking right
to get inside my head?
youre fucking with me,
bitch.
but i cant hate you.
dear god.
i cannot hate you.
and for this
single
solitary
fact
i cry.
i dont want to hurt any more,
do you hear me?
let me go!
let me go!
...let me go...
but i cant let you go.
let you go.
my agonized being
is in pain.
foratbecauseof
you.
why is it that one person
in almost seven billion
can have such control
over my life?
what i do every night?
cry myself to sleep...
what i do in the dark?
make myself bleed...
what i think all the time?
when will this end...
so if i was to die tomorrow,
would you care?
if i was to kill myself in a week,
would you stop me today?
if i was standing on the bridge now
and i jumped
would you grab my hand?
if i was already dead
with no hope for repair
no hope for my life,
would you cry?
somehow,
i dont think so.
and that hurts more
than you could possibly imagine.

more than you could possibly imagine.

-jo.

bleeding inside since
23:56

0 struck matches.

maybe its not you
and maybe its not me.
could it be that my eyes have just seen too much?
that my heart has bled too much?
and im sorry,
oh so sorry darling
that now your hands are stained
eternally tainted
by my blood.
you cant wash me away.
remnants of me will always remain.
wont you cure me
of all my imperfections
so i can look
just. like. them.
take my pending love for granted.
go ahead,
i deserve it.
the truth is...
im scared.
my feelings for you terrify me
because im almost certain
that they will never match yours.
our hands fit so nicely together
but you are never there.
when all i need is one look of adoration
your eyes are focused in the other direction.
when im begging for those three words
to calm my self doubt
its the wrong ones
that spill out.
you are beautiful
and maybe i need to trust your eyes more.
please just forgive me
for everything ive done wrong.
find me again
im begging you.
im ready now.
ready to love you
for however long i am permitted.
im just waiting,
darling im waiting so patiently
for you to love back.

suffocate.within

bleeding inside since
23:15

0 struck matches.

15.6.05

was it real?
i touched you...
but was that really you?
was it all a dream
or some childish nightmare?
or did we stand
so distant
with our broken pieces
finally released from
our bloody mangled hands?

bleeding inside since
00:09

0 struck matches.

13.6.05
mouthful of cut glass.

imperfection.
pain.
annoyance.
bitterness.
you manage to collect
every
single
imperfection of mine
and throw them
in my face.
it feels
like a mouthful
of cut glass.
biting
slowly
down
on a mouthful
of reddened crystal.
like a mouthful
of cut glass.
just a mouthful.
just a mouthful.

-jo.

bleeding inside since
22:38

0 struck matches.

7.6.05
leave me alone.

you talk,
and all i hear is
'memememememe.'
i wouldnt normally
have a problem with that.
i realise that you
are an egotistical
b a s t a r d .
i realise that you
always have to be
in the limelight.
so i d i s a p p e a r .
but when you deliberately
seek me out
in my invisibleness
to antagonize me,
all i want to do
is slap you.
across the face.
so you wont forget it.
s o y o u w o n t f o r g e t i t .
you need to understand
that the words
i r e f u s e
wont get you anywhere.
that the fact that you
are in college
m e a n s n o t h i n g.
that being angry at me
for no reason
m a k e s m e h u r t .
so give it a rest
and grow up.
grow
t h e f u c k
up.
you are an
immature
egotistical
megalomaniacal
perfectionistic
procrastinating
angry
bitchy
rude
moronic
b a s t a r d .
and i dont want
to hear it from you
anymore.
so leave me
the hell
a l o n e .

-jo.

bleeding inside since
22:25

0 struck matches.

just enough.

a shadow
needs light to live.
for what is pleasure
without pain?
reward
without struggle?
joy
wthout sadness?
light
without dark?
nothing.
but somehow,
i find myself
at the opposite end
of the spectrum.
i have just enough pleasure
to teach me
the meaning
of pain.
just enough reward
to teach me
the meaning
of struggle.
just enough joy
to teach me
the meaning
of sadness.
just enough light
to teach me
the meaning
of darkness.
wheres the fun in that?
oh,
i forgot.
im
allergic
to fun.

-jo.

bleeding inside since
22:21

0 struck matches.

6.6.05

unsure and unknowing
we collide
in this world we both know.
feelings so strong
but questions and doubts
so taunting.
love tangles us together
in the spiraling lines of fate.
words seem so real
when they come from your mouth.
your eyes take me away
to a place ive never before been
not even in my dreams.
eventually we will part
and it pains me to think
these next months may be our last.
i will love you then the way i love you now.
i may not love you the way you need
but i love you with all thats left of me.
so ill turn down the music
and ask what you are thinking.
you have become my escape.
with my hand in yours
i am free.
with both of our hearts on the line
we have already accepted the risk.
we are in this together now
and i wouldnt have it any other way.

-suffocate within

bleeding inside since
18:44

0 struck matches.

# archivage.

10.04
11.04
12.04
01.05
02.05
03.05
04.05
05.05
06.05
07.05
08.05
09.05
10.05
11.05
12.05
01.06
02.06
03.06
04.06
07.06
11.09


# linkage.
aaron.
alltheworldtonothing.
bad poets society.
ben.
dani.
the end is near.
i dont own emotion. i rent.
jooutthewindow.
never ending story.
the nightjar.
lonely for the last time.
rosiebc6.
saccharinity.
second chances. from $26 995.
set my heart alight.
soph.
suicidiaries.

# bitch here.



# rules.
yes, sadly, there are rules. just cause im a control freak and i like our blog looking all nice. so. numero uno. no capitalization. unless it is absolutely necessary to the structure of your poem, no one wants to see it. numero dos. no apostrophes. i hate them, and theyre stupid. numero tres. no spelling errors. sorry for those of you who are slightly illiterate. but its hard to read poetry if it is fricking spelled wrong. numero quatro. sign your poems. ill take credit for them otherwise...*evil grin*. awesome. other than that, nothing else so far. you can use whatever font/size you want. any type of poem. etc. thank you.

# us.
name: jordan.
age: 15.
called: jo, dino, jooutthewindow, georgia.
contact: beckham2590@hotmail.com

awesome.

pastimes: writing, drawing, soccer, rowing, swimming, cello.
people: you know who you are.

not so much.

people: you know who you are.
things: juniper bushes, society, life. probably you, too.

music.

artist: green day, linkin park, jimmy eat world, evanescence, autopilot off, blink-182, simple plan, etc.

name: danielle.
age: 15.
called: dani, t-rex, daniel, wingy, doneal*a*thon, psycho.
contact: winged-one@comcast.net

awesome.

pastimes: soccer, wakeboarding, music.
people: not me.

not so much.

people: boys(lol, most but not all), he who must not be named.

music.

artist: korn, linkin park, staind, strata, disturbed.

name: dorota.
age: 17.
called: dorota, d, dorito, roacha...basically anything.
contact: kurczaczek91@hotmail.com

awesome.

pastimes: rowing, swimming, viola, reading, just chilling and shaking my booty.
people: everyone who is nice and not michelle tillman.

not so much.

people: michelle tillman and all those bitchy whores out there.
things: sharks, jellyfish, and seaweed.

music.

artist: anyone.

name: bailey.
age: 16.
called: bay, bail, foomelody, crack whore.
contact: sportsgirlmidfield@hotmail.com

awesome.

pastimes: soccer, poetry, rocking out, people watching.
people: anyone who doesnt piss me off right away.

not so much.

people: anyone with a bad aura.
things: not being able to breathe under the covers.

music.

artist: foofighters, queens of the stone age, nirvana, black rebel motorcycle club, and many many others.

name: sophie.
age: 15.
called: sophsta, fefe, soph, soapie, the list goes on.
contact: wicked_lemons@yahoo.com

awesome.

pastimes: writing, art.
people: david bowie.

not so much.

people: pretentious people, and idiots who think theyre smart. theyre not.
things: math and spelling.

music.

artist: placebo, david bowie, new order, joy division, and the yeah yeah yeahs.

name: ben.
age: 15.
called: ben.
contact: Nerdsworld5643@aol.com

awesome.

pastimes: violin, reading, hanging out.
people: mes amis.

not so much.

people: no idea.
things: bananas.

music.

artist: anyone.

name: aaron.
age: 14.
called: aaron, asshole, raisin, furtard(why thats been extended to me, god only knows) whatever you want.
contact: newbluechampion666@hotmail.com.

awesome.

pastimes: baseball, sleeping, procrastinating, poeming.
people: who knows.

not so much.

people: The list is at 5 pages.
things: stairs, and broken headphones.

music.

artist: (this is gonna be long) everclear, cradle of filth, marilyn manson, metallica, linkin park, AFI, dave matthews band, everlast, spearhead, yellowcard.

name: michael.
age: 15.
called: evoldous, psycho child.
contact: mbhultman@msn.com.

awesome.

pastimes: skateboarding(is it a past time?).
people: danzaver, brixius, gabby, dan-yell, you know, all those people.

not so much.

people: i dont know, that one kid that wants to kill me.
things: those scion cars, they look like boxes.

music.

artist: icp, twiztid, marcy playground, kotton mouth kings, they might be giants, nirvana, metallica, more...


# credits
picture by jo.
layout by roxy_belle.