29.1.06

please. stop.(you. are. killing. me.)

bleeding inside since
17:10

0 struck matches.

17.1.06
a memory too excruciating to forget

Tears fall
and meet my skin.
eyes clenched shut.
this is too much to bear.
in your eyes, past the tears
i see only fragments.
you have been shattered.
and you are watching me fall to pieces.
i am lost in this love.
the love you give, the love you take.
to see, to feel your sobs
is an indescribable pain.
never have i wished to disappear like this.
as your pain mounts, i am choking.
it is no longer mine and yours,
it is our pain.
the fact that i cannot take away your anguish
is the most devastation i have ever faced.
look into my eyes
like you have so many times before
and tell me that you dont want to be with me.
do it now and make it sting.
tear me open right here and watch me bleed.
make me feel alive
like you have so many times before.
the hours become a blur,
coated in tears and whispers.
i cant see, i cant speak.
im covered in you.
we are soaked in blood no one can see.
the kind that pours from the deepest wounds.
im covered in you and it gives me warmth.
im covered in us and my sobs grow louder.
Each time you raise a hand to wipe them away,
i crumple.
i am sorry.
so incredibly sorry.
it is too much to take.
you loving me and hating me all at once.
my body, my soul, my heart are too weak
to see you cry.
my eyes fall shut in horror.

Danielle

bleeding inside since
18:58

0 struck matches.

9.1.06
dear somebody-

the only thing im sorry for is that i didnt get to say it first.
you should have seen me screaming.
i wish id gotten to say it first.

i dont think ill give you a second chance.
not really.
well,
maybe.

but only if you mean it.

really.

i cant take shit like this from you anymore.
if, one day, you decide to be nice to me again,
ill say hi.
and then i will turn around and walk away,
leaving you to fill in the blanks.

im sorry if you lost a sister today.
i lost one too.

but i also found my freedom.

i dont know what you found.
but i hope whatever it is, its worth what you gave away.

but then again, im not worth that much anyway.

i never really was.

always,
j.

ps-
i hate the way you always think youre right.
how your word is law.
how you are the perfect martyr.

i hate the way you suck the life out of me
and expect me to be at your beck and call.

i hate the way you do this shit.

i hate how i can never truly hate you,
only be slightly aggravated, and say i hate things about you.

and i hate the way you feel you have to pretend youre perfect
when youre just a sorry pathetic excuse for a person.

just like the rest of us.

get it straight.

perfection gets you nowhere.
the people who love you do.

eat
that.

bleeding inside since
19:08

0 struck matches.

Doubleshot

Untitled1

We wake in the morning, to show we care
we show our pain, we show our tears
we wake in mourning, to show we care
we show our anger, we show our fears

You call out a warning
warning me
to tell life what i think
you called me in the morning
warning me
to tell life why

Wet your eyes
find a reason
to tell me why
you cry
about nothing
and nothing
and nothing at all

Fuck that

when will we learn
to change
who we are
to who we arent
where we are
to where we want to be

Life will pass you by
tears flow free
Let it go, fly
let it be

Untitled2

Pain is to feel
blood is to bleed
scars are to heal
Fire is to feed
with our hate
with our tears
douse our flames
regretting everything
til we drop
til we fall
til we lose it
til we have to crawl
to it
back up
to fall
back down
to climb
back up

-Aaron

bleeding inside since
14:01

0 struck matches.

4.1.06
there is no such thing [prose]

Silent and cold i walked along the rain pounded cement, There was little traffic, the roads were bad. the rain fell upon my skin, it stung harshly upon the back of my neck. The wind whistled through the streetlamps, blowing through my hair. I blew a lock of black out of my hair that smoothly fell back into place. I once thought i could make a difference, no matter how minor.

Now i know that there is no such thing.

As i trudged across the road,a car swerved to miss me. I felt the airwaves conform around me for a split second, then merge again on the other side. The driver shouted obscenity at me as he screeched past, but it was another sound in the world that passed me by, that ignored me, and rushed foward into their oblivion. I once felt that the world was in my hands

Now i know that there is no such thing.

Was there a plan? Or was it all impromptu. Is there a cruel laughing god? Or is it just a coincidence. I did not know then.

Now i know that there is no such thing.

I thought once that there was something further in life to look forward to, beyond simple pleasures and close-future. Now i understand everything. I once felt that everything conspired within the world to acheive your goals. I was wrong. I once felt that there was something to be, to aim for.

Now i know that there is no such thing.

The dropoff down the cliff i stared into was deep, and within me stirred a primal beast. It roared in fear, knowing its death was near, between my cold hard determination and the colder harder rocks at the end of a fall down. The fear spoke to me of a future, of a glorious future that i might have. Have had.

Now i know that there is no such thing.

I looked down again, swallowed, and jumped. On the way down, i saw everything flow between my eyes, a short life with long bits. I opened the door, looked inside, and fell.

-aaron

(this is a rewrite of a piece i did a long time ago, im still working on it, so expect an update on it eventually.)

bleeding inside since
14:02

1 struck matches.

# archivage.

10.04
11.04
12.04
01.05
02.05
03.05
04.05
05.05
06.05
07.05
08.05
09.05
10.05
11.05
12.05
01.06
02.06
03.06
04.06
07.06
11.09


# linkage.
aaron.
alltheworldtonothing.
bad poets society.
ben.
dani.
the end is near.
i dont own emotion. i rent.
jooutthewindow.
never ending story.
the nightjar.
lonely for the last time.
rosiebc6.
saccharinity.
second chances. from $26 995.
set my heart alight.
soph.
suicidiaries.

# bitch here.



# rules.
yes, sadly, there are rules. just cause im a control freak and i like our blog looking all nice. so. numero uno. no capitalization. unless it is absolutely necessary to the structure of your poem, no one wants to see it. numero dos. no apostrophes. i hate them, and theyre stupid. numero tres. no spelling errors. sorry for those of you who are slightly illiterate. but its hard to read poetry if it is fricking spelled wrong. numero quatro. sign your poems. ill take credit for them otherwise...*evil grin*. awesome. other than that, nothing else so far. you can use whatever font/size you want. any type of poem. etc. thank you.

# us.
name: jordan.
age: 15.
called: jo, dino, jooutthewindow, georgia.
contact: beckham2590@hotmail.com

awesome.

pastimes: writing, drawing, soccer, rowing, swimming, cello.
people: you know who you are.

not so much.

people: you know who you are.
things: juniper bushes, society, life. probably you, too.

music.

artist: green day, linkin park, jimmy eat world, evanescence, autopilot off, blink-182, simple plan, etc.

name: danielle.
age: 15.
called: dani, t-rex, daniel, wingy, doneal*a*thon, psycho.
contact: winged-one@comcast.net

awesome.

pastimes: soccer, wakeboarding, music.
people: not me.

not so much.

people: boys(lol, most but not all), he who must not be named.

music.

artist: korn, linkin park, staind, strata, disturbed.

name: dorota.
age: 17.
called: dorota, d, dorito, roacha...basically anything.
contact: kurczaczek91@hotmail.com

awesome.

pastimes: rowing, swimming, viola, reading, just chilling and shaking my booty.
people: everyone who is nice and not michelle tillman.

not so much.

people: michelle tillman and all those bitchy whores out there.
things: sharks, jellyfish, and seaweed.

music.

artist: anyone.

name: bailey.
age: 16.
called: bay, bail, foomelody, crack whore.
contact: sportsgirlmidfield@hotmail.com

awesome.

pastimes: soccer, poetry, rocking out, people watching.
people: anyone who doesnt piss me off right away.

not so much.

people: anyone with a bad aura.
things: not being able to breathe under the covers.

music.

artist: foofighters, queens of the stone age, nirvana, black rebel motorcycle club, and many many others.

name: sophie.
age: 15.
called: sophsta, fefe, soph, soapie, the list goes on.
contact: wicked_lemons@yahoo.com

awesome.

pastimes: writing, art.
people: david bowie.

not so much.

people: pretentious people, and idiots who think theyre smart. theyre not.
things: math and spelling.

music.

artist: placebo, david bowie, new order, joy division, and the yeah yeah yeahs.

name: ben.
age: 15.
called: ben.
contact: Nerdsworld5643@aol.com

awesome.

pastimes: violin, reading, hanging out.
people: mes amis.

not so much.

people: no idea.
things: bananas.

music.

artist: anyone.

name: aaron.
age: 14.
called: aaron, asshole, raisin, furtard(why thats been extended to me, god only knows) whatever you want.
contact: newbluechampion666@hotmail.com.

awesome.

pastimes: baseball, sleeping, procrastinating, poeming.
people: who knows.

not so much.

people: The list is at 5 pages.
things: stairs, and broken headphones.

music.

artist: (this is gonna be long) everclear, cradle of filth, marilyn manson, metallica, linkin park, AFI, dave matthews band, everlast, spearhead, yellowcard.

name: michael.
age: 15.
called: evoldous, psycho child.
contact: mbhultman@msn.com.

awesome.

pastimes: skateboarding(is it a past time?).
people: danzaver, brixius, gabby, dan-yell, you know, all those people.

not so much.

people: i dont know, that one kid that wants to kill me.
things: those scion cars, they look like boxes.

music.

artist: icp, twiztid, marcy playground, kotton mouth kings, they might be giants, nirvana, metallica, more...


# credits
picture by jo.
layout by roxy_belle.